1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:03,200
Everybody's going to be
so focused on Sara and James,

2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,140
and nobody's going to notice you
being the single older sister anyway.

3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,620
I'm not bothered. I'm more bothered
that people will think

4
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:12,380
that I'm bothered whereas,
in reality, I'm not at all bothered.

5
00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:13,860
Are you sure you're not bothered?

6
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,300
Look and don't worry about not
being a bridesmaid either.

7
00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,660
She's not having bridesmaids.
It is a bit selfish,

8
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:20,860
your little brother
getting married before you.

9
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,380
Well, it would be selfish
if I wanted to get married,

10
00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:26,020
but I don't, because I think
weddings are overrated.

11
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,340
And nobody's asked you.

12
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:30,220
What if you met someone
and he really wanted to marry you

13
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:31,980
and then he got down on bended knee

14
00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:34,420
and he begged you
to change your ways for love?

15
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,700
Well, I mean
if it's that important to him

16
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:39,060
then I might consider
a small ceremony.

17
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,300
What would you wear?
Vintage lace, him in a kilt,

18
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,340
barn dance reception,
fish and chip van,

19
00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:46,420
honeymoon driving round
the coast of Ireland.

20
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:50,460
Probably. I don't know,
haven't thought about it.

21
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:58,660


22
00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:03,860
Someday, someday, Leeds United.

23
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,660
God, I love weddings!

24
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:09,460
The festivities, the romance,
it's celestial.

25
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,020
That's why you can make such
great spiritual connections.

26
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,540
Connection being,
your vagina, his penis.

27
00:01:14,580 --> 00:01:18,340
Just admit it, weddings are the best
place to get nailed - in every way.

28
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:21,660
No, it's about everybody's
heart chakras being wide open,

29
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,980
It has nothing to do
with nailing anybody.

30
00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:27,260
Right, well, better get
a wriggle on. Got to help Sara.

31
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,940
What with? I answered a post
she put out on Facebook,

32
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,380
ended up helping her
with a couple of things -

33
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,820
the dress, the cake, the venue,
that kind of thing.

34
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:38,860
All right, then, see ya!

35
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:42,100
Whoa!

36
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:44,180
Super fit.

37
00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,620
Very toned.

38
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:48,260
Phwoar. Look at those arms!

39
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,740
So tall.

40
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:51,460
She is wearing killer heels though.

41
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,820
Nightmare,
all these women are gorgeous.

42
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:55,500
You could be in trouble here.

43
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:58,340
Thanks, Bunny.
I'm just saying.

44
00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:01,060
Oh, mortifi-cash.
What?

45
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,460
Well, the bridesmaids
are all in bloody lemon.

46
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,180
Oh, my God, so there ARE bridesmaids?

47
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:08,180
Lying cow.

48
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:09,940
Oh, God, how embarrassing.

49
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:12,180
Laura's in the same dress.

50
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:15,340
Laura!

51
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,580
All right.

52
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,100
What are you going to do?

53
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:19,300
About what?

54
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,300
The fact that you're in the
same dress as the bridesmaids?

55
00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:23,380
Oh, right, yeah, this.

56
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,700
Oh, it's just cos
I'm carrying summat down the aisle.

57
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:28,020
Oh, no, mate, I think
you got the wrong end of the stick.

58
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,980
You can't carry something down the
aisle unless the bride asks you to.

59
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,820
Yeah, I know. She has asked me.
It's no big deal.

60
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:36,380
There's a few of us doing it.
Is this a joke?

61
00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:37,940
What the hell?!

62
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:40,780
Laura, are you a bridesmaid
at my brother's wedding and I'm not?

63
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:42,780
Keep your voice down.
I will not!

64
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:43,940
People are looking at us.

65
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,100
She's left me out of
this whole wedding on purpose.

66
00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:47,500
She's doing it on purpose.

67
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,500
Actually, I quite like it.

68
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,540
Soz, mate, I didn't know.

69
00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:53,100
Controversh.

70
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,060
I don't know who
this is worse for, you or me?

71
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:58,060
Well, me, obviously, seeing as
it's my little brother's wedding

72
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,220
and the bride has asked my best
friend to be a bridesmaid and not me.

73
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,220
Not that I care about
being a bridesmaid

74
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:05,860
but she said herself
they're just Facebook friends!

75
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,180
Is something the matter here?
I'm not going in.

76
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,700
Meg's just feeling
a little bit excluded.

77
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,420
Yeah, it's not about you today,
Meg, is it? Shh.

78
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:17,460
You do actually have
very important duties today, Meg.

79
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:20,340
Meg is in charge
of table decorations,

80
00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:24,060
and you can't have a wedding
without table decorations, can you?

81
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,100
Well, you can.

82
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,900
Erm...

83
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,420
They will look lovely

84
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,500
and I'm sure everyone
will remember to say so.

85
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:35,340
They're actually so good, I'm going
to have them at my own wedding.

86
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:39,380
Slightly putting the cart
before the horse there, aren't we?

87
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:43,060
MUSIC: "Signed, Sealed, Delivered
I'm Yours" by Stevie Wonder

88
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,900
CHEERING

89
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:48,900
Er, Laura, can I just ask
how the thing you ended up

90
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:51,420
carrying down the aisle was
the bride's train?

91
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,500
She just asked me,
I couldn't say no.

92
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,140
Laura, photos!

93
00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:59,180
Yeah.

94
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:08,220
GENERAL CHATTER

95
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:14,380
THEY CHEER

96
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,340
Hi.

97
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,100
You're James's sister, aren't you?

98
00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:24,980
I'm Caz, I'm one of Sara's friends.

99
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:26,140
Meg.

100
00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,780
So how do you know Luke?
Oh, I don't know him.

101
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,020
He's pretty cute, don't you think?

102
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,900
Yeah, he's...he's nice looking.

103
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,300
Do you like him then?

104
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:38,580
Well, it's hard to say,
I haven't spoken to him.

105
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,300
Have you spoken to him?

106
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:43,860
We've been at a few festivals
together and stuff. Cool.

107
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:47,900
We always end up all over each other
when we get drunk.

108
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:50,580
Just so you know.

109
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,580
Right.

110
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,300
So are you on the singles table?

111
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,060
I didn't know there was
a singles table.

112
00:04:56,100 --> 00:05:00,100
Yeah. It's mainly Sara's
model friends. Them lot.

113
00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:04,140
WOMEN CHUCKLE

114
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,180
I'm just going to go
and say hi to Luke.

115
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:10,220
You see,
this is what I love about weddings,

116
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:13,420
that you just make connections
with people. Don't you agree, Matt?

117
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,580
I suppose, yeah.

118
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:17,100
You see, I really feel like
I've actually learnt something

119
00:05:17,140 --> 00:05:19,300
cos I had absolutely no idea
what PPI was,

120
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:21,420
and it is just so interesting.

121
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:25,460
Um, Matt? So if I wanted to make a
PPI claim, do I just call you or...?

122
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,380
You can do, yeah.
Matt?

123
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:29,820
Do you have a number that...?

124
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,260
I've got a business card.

125
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,820
Um, Matt's my husband.
We're married, OK?

126
00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:37,060
So can you back the fuck off?

127
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,860
OK, this is a wedding, yeah,

128
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:40,900
so I suggest you just
chill out a little bit?

129
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,900
You see, when I'm stressed,
I visualise a lake.

130
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,860
OK, you'd better go now.

131
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:48,900
Card? No?

132
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:50,500
Are you being serious?

133
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,460
OK, don't get stressed
because of the baby...

134
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:56,140
Because of the baby?!
You're making me look stupid...

135
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,700
It's insania.

136
00:05:57,740 --> 00:06:00,660
I'm getting fanny-blocked
left, right and centro.

137
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,340
Any intel on the competish?

138
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:04,740
I've told you, Bunny,
I'm not interested. I'm too busy.

139
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,860
I've got table decorations to nail,
remember?

140
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,260
Yeah, you're right,
the competition's just so fierce,

141
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,300
it makes you want to quit.
Not what I said.

142
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,900
Oh, hello. Ding dong.

143
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,060
I could definitely
make a connection with HIM.

144
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,740
Yeah, he's all right, I s'pose.

145
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:19,660
Oh, do you know him, then?
No.

146
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:20,860
Do you like him, then?

147
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,140
It's hard to say,
I haven't spoken to him.

148
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,460
Have you spoken to him?

149
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,620
No, he's too busy talking
to that guy in the kilt.

150
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:29,100
Oh, I thought we were
talking about the guy in the kilt.

151
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,940
Oh, no, not him.

152
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:32,300
HIM.

153
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:33,940
He's pretty cute.

154
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:35,980
He's pretty pubescent.

155
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,620
Look, if you fancy him, just say,

156
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,580
I don't want to tread
on anyone's toes.

157
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:41,940
Er, no, Bunny, I don't fancy him,
he's a child.

158
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,940
Ooh. Hello, what about him?

159
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:46,860
12 o'clock, looks like
his heart chakra's wide open.

160
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,740
Hi.
Hi. Are you on your own?

161
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,180
Yes, unfortunately.

162
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:55,220
Have we met? I just felt like
we had a connection.

163
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:59,100
You do realise he's your cousin?
Oh!

164
00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:00,420
First or second?

165
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,620
First.

166
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,500
Tom? Tim?

167
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,340
Henry.
Henry.

168
00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:09,380
I've got to go now,
I feel uncomfortable.

169
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:12,420
Spiritual connection,
blood relation - same thing.

170
00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,620
Come on, guys, let's take a picture.

171
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:18,180
THEY CHEER

172
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,820
"What's that, Sara?
Decorate a candle?"

173
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:24,380
Could do, or I could actually
add some wow value to the occasion

174
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:27,500
by dropping a floating candle
into a goldfish bowl

175
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,100
complete with live fish
which guests can take home as a gift.

176
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,060
Nailed it!

177
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:37,260
Do you guys know anything
about these goldfish bowls?

178
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,980
Certainly do.

179
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:43,020
It's just that quite
a lot of the goldfish are dead.

180
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,620
Oh, shit.

181
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,380
Stinks.

182
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,620
Help me.

183
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,820
Find some alive ones
and put them on the top table.

184
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:55,860
I need this.

185
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:08,820
Sorry, God.

186
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,900
Not that you can possibly exist.

187
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,380
KNOCKING ON DOOR

188
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,060
Meg, are you in here?
Yeah!

189
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,580
Oh, you're not crying, are you?
No!

190
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,380
I'm just...

191
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,300
doing a poo.

192
00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:21,780
LOUD SPLASH

193
00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:24,140
Bloody hell, are you all right?

194
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:25,340
TOILET FLUSHES

195
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,980
All better now.

196
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:31,020
Hurry up,
you're going to miss the speeches.

197
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:34,740
And I think everyone will agree
that Laura has done

198
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:38,580
a smashing job in helping Sara
to pick out her stunning dress.

199
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,060
Yeah, well done, Laura.

200
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,780
APPLAUSE

201
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:45,500
The only time I've seen Sara look
more gorgeous is in her bikini,

202
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:49,540
which admittedly is just an image
I have made up in my mind.

203
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,500
LAUGHTER

204
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:52,780
Thanks very much.

205
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:56,260
And I'm going to, er,
pass over to the groom now.

206
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:59,300
Here he comes.

207
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,140
Thanks there, mate, cheers.

208
00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:03,780
Oh, he's looking over. Fit.

209
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,340
Amazing skin.

210
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:07,140
Mmm, like a baby's.

211
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,540
So well dressed!

212
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,540
Almost like his mum dressed him.

213
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:13,500
We definitely have a connection.
I can feel it.

214
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:15,740
Bunny, he's sitting on
the kids' table.

215
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:17,180
He's eating jelly!

216
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:20,380
I know what's happening here,
this is a textbook fanny block.

217
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:23,500
Er, no, what's happening here is,
you've run out of options

218
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,300
and you're panic buying.

219
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:28,060
I'd like to thank my wife,
feels weird saying that!

220
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,340
Why do you always have to have
a conquest anyway?

221
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,900
Why can't you have a good time
without having a shag lined up?

222
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:33,940
Guys, shh.

223
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:36,380
Oh, sorry, I mean
"spiritual connection."

224
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:39,740
"Oooh, I'm Meg, I can't stand
anyone else having a good time."

225
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,820
Nice table decorations by the way.
Shush!

226
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:44,540
You really do look stunning today,
Mrs Keswick.

227
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:47,500
"Oh, oh, I'm Meg, and I'm such
a failure, I messed up again."

228
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,220
Shh!
..and I just want to say

229
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:51,580
I'm really excited to spend
the rest of my life with you.

230
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,740
"Oooh, I'm Bunny, I'll fuck anything,

231
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:56,500
"I WANT TO FUCK MY COUSIN."

232
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,220
SILENCE

233
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:02,260
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK

234
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,500
I was talking about her.

235
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,600
Sorry, carry on.

236
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,080
Have you got a husband?
No.

237
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,120
Have you got a boyfriend?
No.

238
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,760
Have you got a dog?
No.

239
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,680
What HAVE you got?

240
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:23,960
Um...

241
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,360
big feet?

242
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,400
SHE CHUCKLES

243
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,360
Oh, I love your suit. Whoa.
Cheers.

244
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,480
And your tie,
it's an amazing colour.

245
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,400
People say I look
like Geri Halliwell. Who?

246
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,040
Ginger Spice?
I don't know what that is.

247
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,240
SHE CHUCKLES
HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

248
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,040
Can I, er, read your palm?

249
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,520
Er, it's a bit sweaty. I don't...

250
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:42,720
What star sign are you?

251
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,160
Think I'm Sagittarius.

252
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,360
Shut the front door.
I knew we shared the same energy.

253
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:52,400
Oh, you crave new experiences?
Yeah.

254
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,400
Me mum says if I get good results,

255
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,600
I can go to Newquay
for me summer holidays

256
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,760
but I'm also kind of saving up
for a new skateboard.

257
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,000
Oh, so mature.
What do you do for a job, Callum?

258
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,200
Just a paper round.

259
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,840
Sorry, how old are you?

260
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,800
Erm, think I said 20.

261
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,840
Bunny, can I have a word?

262
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,800
Owns a skateboard.
Does a paper round. Has zits.

263
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,880
What's your point?

264
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,000
My point is
you're flirting with a foetus.

265
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,240
He told me he was 20!

266
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,840
What do you want me to do? ID him?

267
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,400
I don't think they put your date of
birth on Wacky Warehouse memberships?

268
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,600
Meg, this is
a textbook fanny blocking.

269
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,280
You're a sexual predator.

270
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,320
You're a jealous fanny.

271
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,440
So, how big's your skateboard?

272
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,920
Oh, there you are! Can you help?

273
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,160
The big one's blocked.

274
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,760
So what's the goss then?

275
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,440
Well, Meg's freaking out
cos Bunny fancies that kid.

276
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,880
What? Callum? How old is he?

277
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,640
Dunno. He's minging n'all.
And spotty.

278
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,120
Bet he's got a pencil dick.
Ugh.

279
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,360
KNOCKING ON DOOR

280
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,800
This is Callum's mother.
Open the door.

281
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,400
Oh, shit.

282
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,440
WATER RUNNING

283
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,640
Did you hear all that?

284
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,760
Enough to know that
one of your friend's

285
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,520
is trying to hit on
my 15-year-old son, yes.

286
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:17,080
You'd better go and tell your friend
to back off before it's too late.

287
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,800
And by the way,
my son is not "minging".

288
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,840
And he's quite adequately endowed,
thank you.

289
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,880
THEY LAUGH

290
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,640
We better go and tell Bunny.

291
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:36,680
In a minute.
Let's have a dance first.

292
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,640
Meg, stop it, that's enough.

293
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,200
I know it's really hard for you
that your little brother's

294
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,640
got married before you but this
is James's special day and I won't

295
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,080
have you ruining it, just so that
you can be the centre of attention.

296
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,040
I'm not ruining it.

297
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,280
GASPING

298
00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,320
Oh, my God.

299
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,080
Laura!

300
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,400
Look.

301
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,280
Oh, yeah, by the way, he's 15.

302
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,920
15?!

303
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,960
Eh, no!

304
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,120
Stop kissing! Stop kissing!
Please stop kissing.

305
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,680
You have to stop kissing now.

306
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,560
Bunny!

307
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,240
Go get your own, Meg!

308
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,800
Sorry, what are you doing? You're
interrupting a private moment here.

309
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,400
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, Mum!

310
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,280
You're a disgrace. He's 15.

311
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,000
What? He told me he was 20.

312
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:36,040
I should report you to the police,
you mucky pervert.

313
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,240
Nothing happened.

314
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:41,000
No new skateboard for you.
Right, we're going straight home.

315
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,160
But I want to stay up.
And as for you, you...

316
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,200
slag!

317
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,960
OK, can I just suggest you
try visualising a lake?

318
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,120
What you have got to say
for yourself?

319
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,520
Bunny, just apologise.

320
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,280
I didn't know that he was 15

321
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,040
but now that I know that,
it changes everything, but...

322
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,240
it goes without saying that...

323
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,640
I will wait for you, Callum.

324
00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,720
Not an apology.

325
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,640
What we have, it runs deep, and
it transcends age and prejudice...

326
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:04,880
But not the law.

327
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,680
No, unfortunately,
so you're going to go

328
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,480
and you're going to get out of here,
and you're going to grow older,

329
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,400
one year older, and you're going to
come back and we're going to make love.

330
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,360
Excuse me! Lots of love
but just not here, Callum,

331
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,880
not this night.

332
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,520
Oh, why can't I be 16?

333
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,680
Thanks for nothing, friends.

334
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,480
I was trying to stop you from...

335
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:24,640
From meeting The One?

336
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,400
The youngest One? Yes.

337
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,200
How's your spiritual connection now,

338
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,040
now that you've nearly broken
the law with a sexual violation?

339
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,280
It's not a crime
if you don't know it's a crime.

340
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,640
Not how the law works.

341
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,320
Have you sorted these fish out?
Sara'll freak if she sees them.

342
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,160
Mmm, "Sara'll freak
if she sees them."

343
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,520
Since when have you given one tiny
shit about what Sara thinks? Hmm?

344
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,880
What about me?

345
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,200
It is her wedding day, Meg.

346
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,120
Yeah, and don't we fucking know it?

347
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,800
I don't like her
and I don't want her in my family

348
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,880
and I have nothing but resentment
towards her and her stupid f...

349
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,680
Hi!!
Hi, girls!

350
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,320
Congratulations.

351
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,160
Oh, I haven't seen you all day, Meg.

352
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,520
God, I love your dress,
you look beautiful.

353
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,880
Thank you, well, Laura helped me.

354
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,840
You're quite a classy girl, so,
just anything goes really. Like me.

355
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,880
I'm the same, I can wear anything
and still look classy.

356
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,680
Excuse me,

357
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,560
I heard you're responsible
for the table centre-pieces?

358
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,680
SQUELCH

359
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,800
No.

360
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,280
If I find one more dead fish
has been disposed of on site,

361
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,760
this wedding will be shut down,

362
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,800
you'll be reported to the police and
you'll be fined, do you understand?

363
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,840
So what I'm saying is
take your fish and fuck off.

364
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:51,960
THUD

365
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,000
BUNNY: Oh, God. Right, get in there.

366
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,400
Oh, God. Oh, bloody hell!
That is impressive!

367
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,520
Is that...
James's sister on the roof?

368
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,560
What is she doing?

369
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,520
Am I psychic or is someone
up here a bit emotional?

370
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,720
It'll get better, won't it?

371
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,640
Well, I wouldn't have thought so,
Meg.

372
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,520
Not if you keep carrying on
like you are.

373
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,320
Carry on like what?
I haven't done anything.

374
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,000
Precisely.

375
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,640
You know, when you were born,

376
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,680
we just didn't expect you to be
so unhappy as a baby, you know.

377
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,000
You were just like this
purple sobbing ball of fear.

378
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,680
And you cried and you cried

379
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,800
and you didn't know why
because you were a baby

380
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,840
so you got scared and that
made me scared and I realised that

381
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,800
my role in life was just to keep you
from being unhappy, you know.

382
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,560
And nothing else really mattered.

383
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,640
But 26 years on,

384
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,680
I'm fucking exhausted.

385
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,440
You've got to sort your life out,
Meg.

386
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,040
Is this supposed to be making me
feel better?

387
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,440
You've got to
stand on your own two feet.

388
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,480
I can give you advice.

389
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,600
I'm always here if you need advice.

390
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,520
Can I ask you something then?

391
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,360
Yeah, of course.

392
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,400
How would you get rid
of a hat full of dead fish?

393
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:13,440
Here.

394
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,640
SHE GASPS

395
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,080
I'll leave you to it.

396
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,240
Meg, darling, are you OK?

397
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,280
Well, one of my friend's
has committed the ultimate act

398
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,920
of disloyalty at
my own little brother's wedding,

399
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,680
and the other one's a paedophile
and I've just had to wear a hat

400
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,240
full of decomposing fish but apart
from that, best day of my life.

401
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,600
So it is true?
You are having a breakdown?

402
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,400
Does it look like
I'm having a breakdown?

403
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,480
A bit.

404
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,240
You're all alone on
top of a tall building. And?

405
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,320
People think that you're...
Oh! "People think, people think."

406
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,000
I don't care what people think!

407
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,880
I think you need to see this.

408
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:03,920
I know you're single but there's
still so much to live for!

409
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,840
CROWD MUMBLE

410
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,400
Maybe it's because
James got married before her.

411
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,440
Yeah, and wasn't her best friend
a bridesmaid and she wasn't?

412
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,120
She probably hates her nose.

413
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,320
And she's got an Adam's apple.

414
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,240
CROWD: Ahhh!

415
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,360
People think
you're going to top yourself.

416
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,960
Well, I don't want people
to think that.

417
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,400
I'm fine! I'M FINE!

418
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,080
Why didn't you correct them?

419
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:33,120
Well, we weren't 100%.

420
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,800
OK.

421
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,360
OK, now I know I said I don't care

422
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,080
what the people at this wedding
think about me

423
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,640
but I've decided I really do care

424
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,960
what the people at this wedding
think about me.

425
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,160
Well, there's only one thing for it.

426
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,160
Shall we dance?

427
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,200
MUSIC PLAYS

428
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:52,160
SONG: (I've Had) The Time Of My Life

429
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,720
LOUD THUD
CROWD GROAN

430
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,160
MEG GROANS

431
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,200
I think I've made my point.

432
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,560
I genuinely enjoyed myself tonight.
Albeit out of spite.

433
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,000
I'm sorry about
the bridesmaid thing.

434
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,040
For what's it worth, I think she's
got fuck-all taste in anything,

435
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,760
including bridesmaids.

436
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,280
You cool?
Yeah.

437
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,400
I still think she's
a sociopath for asking you

438
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,440
but I'm sorry for being
a dick about it.

439
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,960
Well, people can get carried
away at weddings, can't they?

440
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,400
Some more than others.

441
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,040
I know, what was I thinking?

442
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,240
So you're not going to wait a year
to have sex with a schoolboy, then?

443
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,800
It was never going to happen -

444
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,320
two Sagittariuses is never
going to be compatible.

445
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,720
I heard you were compatible
with someone else?

446
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,840
I saw you fucking the chef.

447
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,480
Well, you can't have done
because I didn't fuck the chef.

448
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,080
I fucked the pot washer!

449
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:45,080
You sex pest, what is wrong with you?
Oh, my God, what is wrong with you?

450
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:48,320
I'm not a sex pest, I'm bubbly!

451
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,480
What happened to
a "spiritual connection"?

452
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,520
Meg, shut your face!
And you shut your face as well.

453
00:22:54,570 --> 00:22:59,120
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